“I felt like I was in the bicycle of gun things and also I didn’t recognize what to do,” Holly Madison, former Playboy pinup and ex-girlfriend that the late Hefner, states in an explosive new clip for the forthcoming A&E docuseries“Secrets of Playboy.”

In a preview because that the 10-hour exploration into the once-heralded Playboy realm — set to debut Jan. 24 — Madison, 41, unveils the mental and emotional anguish she endured as a Playmate indigenous 2001 come 2008 in ~ the hand of Hefner — who passed away of sepsis in 2017 at age 91.

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“I gained to a suggest where I kind of broke under the pressure and being made to feel favor I necessary to look specifically like everyone else,” says Madison, that starred as one of Hef’s 3 voluptuous lover girl on E!’s reality series “The Girls following Door.”

The blond bombshell said that after 6 months of life alongside a gaggle of equally fair-haired and full-figured vixens, she arbitrarily chopped off her lengthy gold locks together a to trust boost.

Playboy Playmate Sheila Levell (from left), Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and Playmate Holly Madison show up together in 2003. Robert Mora/Getty Images

But she cases Hef’s reaction to her brand-new look was a total bust.

“I came earlier with quick hair and he flipped out on me,” says Madison the the Playboy powerhouse. “He to be screaming at me and also said the made me look at old, hard and also cheap.”

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Madison’s claims of Hefner’s outrage are shown on the display by his girlfriend Jonathan Baker.

“I remember as soon as she reduced her hair,” the mogul’s girlfriend said. “He was an extremely unhappy about it. Yup, his world.”

“Hef would certainly be quite abrasive in the method he said things to Holly,” chimes in previous Playmate and Madison’s “Girls following Door” co-star Bridget Marquardt, 48.

“She come down v red lipstick one time and he flipped out, stated he hated red lipstick ~ above girls and also the she necessary to take it off appropriate away,” to add Marquardt, who claims Hefner never ever erupted once other Playmates donned a crimson lip color.

“It was very frustrating come live with every day,” she continues. “All the the drama that was walk on and also the tension. Ns could absolutely see the was obtaining depressed and sad and also her demeanor was starting to change.”

“I felt choose I was in the bicycle of gross things and also I didn’t know what come do,” Holly Madison says of life within Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion in a clip because that the upcoming series.A&E
Kendra Wilkinson (from left), Bridget Marquardt, Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison struggle a red carpet with each other in 2007. “It was an extremely frustrating to live through every day,” Marquardt stated of life in the Playboy Mansion. “All of the drama the was walking on and the tension.’John M. Heller/Getty Images

Madison — who at some point deemed she affiliation v Playboy a “dangerous choice” — no the only Playmate to suffer Hefner’s sinister side.

“Hef pretended the he wasn’t connected in any kind of hard drug use at the mansion, yet that was simply a lie,” claims Hefner’s ex Sondra Theodore, a Playmate from 1976 to 1981. “Quaaludes down the heat were supplied for sex,” she says, noting the “lovely” emotion the hypnotic sedative induces.

“Usually you just took a fifty percent . Yet if you took two, you’d pass out,” Theodore, 64, reveals. “There to be such a seduction, and also men knew that they can get girl to carry out just around anything they wanted if they gave them a Quaalude.”

“I obtained to a allude where I kind of broke under the pressure and being made come feel favor I needed to look exactly like everyone else,” Madison states of she time together a Playboy Playmate.Denise Truscello/WireImage

Hefner’s former secretary and executive assistant corroborated Theodore’s cases of the tycoon’s penchant because that drugging women.

“Quaaludes were what we dubbed leg-spreaders. That was the whole allude of them,” Lisa loving Barrett says in the show. “They were a crucial evil, if girlfriend will, come the partying.”

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Barrett, who worked at the Playboy Mansion from 1977 till 1989, admits come joining Hefner and also his executive, management staffers in securing prescriptions for drugs in stimulate to maintain a steady circulation of drugs right into his lair that lust.

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“We would have actually prescriptions in few of our names,” claims Barrett. “There to be prescriptions in Sondra’s name, in Hef’s name and in my name and Mary’s name … We maintained a workdesk calendar that would say ‘Lisa’s Q’ or ‘Hef’sQ’ or ‘Sandra’s Q.’ ”

Barrett said the mansion’s riches of illegal substances “enabled four or sometimes 5 prescriptions because that the very same medication to feeding the machine.”

The “Secrets that Playboy” show will also unearth the sexual assaults, drug abuse, prostitution, suicide and murder that, for more than 6 decades, allegedly to be sheltered through the glossy façade the Hefner’s empire.